The Gift (and Challenge) of Parenthood
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BOBO'S 17th BIRTHDAY (AND THE FEAST OF ST. JOSEPH):
Today, my nephew, Brendan, known as Bobo, is 17 years-old. Wow. I can only imagine how his parents feel. I keep thinking back to those days when he was anywhere from 3 to 5. The after-school conversations would often begin with, “Hey, Uncle Trey, wanna go ride bikes?!” We would take off and ride all throughout the neighborhood. Along the way, I would just listen. He would talk about anything from how many girlfriends he (supposedly) had, to what he had eaten for lunch at school that day. I miss those days. Now, it’s more like a phone call or a text that begins with, “Hey, so listen, I was wondering…” Then, the follow-up would have something to do with a certain dollar amount! Don’t get me wrong. We do play golf too. I do, however, miss the early days, and no, I don’t mind helping out with his weekend finances sometimes! It just so happens that his birthday falls on the Feast of Saint Joseph. For today’s Mass, we are given 2 options for the Gospel reading. The second, taken from Luke, describes that scene with which we are all familiar. “The finding of Jesus in the temple,” is how we often refer to it. “Son,” Mary asks him, “why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (From Luke 2:41-51.) Reflecting on this passage within the context of, not only, my nephew’s birthday, but within the context of parenthood, I am reminded of the gift and privilege of that vocation. I often tell people that, from my point of view, the 2 most amazing, yet challenging, vocations are parenthood and teaching. While Jesus is still quite young in this passage, it brings to mind for me the tension that all parents go through when the inevitable comes—the time to let go. In the years leading up to that, they know it’s coming. They just enjoy what they have while they have it. I recently came across an anonymous quote defining parenthood. It reads, “Parenthood: a constant battle between wanting them to say little and the love of watching them grow. It is wishing to rewind time, while begging for more. It can be a struggle. It can be confusing. But what a beautiful mess it is.” (Anonymous.) I might add in the Archbishop Shelton Fabre quote, “Aint no mess like family mess.” Although I am not a parent, it is hard for me to let go as the children in my life grow up and change. I can only imagine what parents think and feel and experience along that amazing journey. We do not know a whole lot about Saint Joseph. What we do know of is his courage and his fidelity. He stayed the course. That is the exact prayer I offer for moms and dads, that God would provide you with the wisdom, patience, and strength necessary to stay the course in your most amazing vocation. Not that I’m the one to give advice, but if I were, it would simply be this. Of all our commodities, time is the most precious. Take. The. Time. I know that’s often easier said than done, but please do it anyway. Do it often. Have a meal together. Pray together. Laugh together. And when they act like you’re the last person on earth they want to talk to or hear from, don’t take it personally. Our women’s retreat was a couple months ago, and our men’s retreat is this weekend. To all our moms out there, I reference again Jesus’ message to the woman at the well. “You are enough!” To our dads out there, I share again the one statement we don’t hear enough—or say to one another enough. “You are a good man!” Thank you to all of you for your example. Thank you for inviting me into your lives.
Bobo—Happy birthday, buddy!