On the weekend of October 21 and 22, the Twenty-ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Deacon James Morrissey, one of our two deacons, offered the homily at all Masses. As usual, it was a job well done. The Gospel selection that day brought us to that moment when Jesus replied to the Pharisees, Sadducees, and Scribes by saying, “…then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, but give to God what is God’s.” Deacon James then offered the thought, “There was Jesus, cool, calm, and collected, and giving them this simple response.” Now, fast-forward to the following Tuesday. My friend, Scott Losavio, also a parishioner and Director of Campus Ministry for Catholic High School here in Baton Rouge, made me laugh. “Tell Deacon James I have a bone to pick with him about his homily.” Scott is never one to complain, so I sensed a joke coming on. “He said, ‘there was Jesus, cool, calm, and collected.’ Man. Cool? Calm? He had just called those guys out! It’s hard to imagine him calm and collected in that moment!” And we both had a good laugh. The point is, whether Scott realized it or not, he and Deacon James both identified one of the most amazing qualities in Jesus, especially when he was faced with difficult situations and difficult topics. He wasn’t afraid to have the conversation, and he never did it in a condescending way or a mean way at all. He simply listened. He responded directly. He responded compassionately. Wow. What a style. You ever wonder why we can’t all be like that?
If I were to answer my own question honestly, with no bells and whistles, I think my answer would be one word only. Fear. That’s right. Fear. Some people do not want to have the conversations about the difficult topics, simply because they are afraid of where those conversations will go. This is particularly the case when it comes to faith, religion, church, and sexuality. So many people today, especially young people, have a lot of thoughts and questions but often do not feel they can voice them, simply because they fear they will be shut down. Those of us who serve in the church often joke, saying, “Jesus really shut those Pharisees down.” No. He really did not. They shut themselves down. They did themselves in. The point is, he listened. There was no question that was off-limits, no area of life about which he was not open to discussion. That’s the “cool, calm, and collected” quality to which Deacon James referred. It was never void of compassion or direct honesty. Are there for us? Any areas or issues? Not open for discussion?
Is the world a more complicated place in which to live today? Personally, I do think it is. Could I navigate my way through high school and college free from harm today? I doubt myself in this regard. Whether we like it or not, there are certain realities out there with which young people and their families struggle. Often, they feel there’s no place to go, no one with whom they can be transparent about their challenges. As Church—and as individuals—are we not called to be this type of refuge for them and for one another? Father Andre’ Coindre, founder of the Brothers of the Sacred Heart, is remembered as someone who made it his life’s mission to be just this. “In 1817, Father Coindre, seeing the hospitals and prisons of Lyons filled with young people, resolved to form a sanctuary to gather them together, away from all danger.” (The Map of Our Heart. No. 12.) God, in Christ, has called us to be a sanctuary for our young, a shelter into which they can retreat, free from judgment and comfortable enough to speak and ask openly, knowing all the while they are loved. In his apostolic exhortation to young people, Christus Vivet, Pope Francis reminds us of this reality, when he writes, “Young people are aware that the body and sexuality have an essential importance for their lives and for their process of growth in identity. Yet in a world that constantly exalts sexuality, maintaining a healthy relationship with one’s body and a serene affective life is not easy.” (Christus Vivet. Christ is Alive. Exhortation to Young People. No. 81. March 2018.) I have often shared with others, “your sexuality is a gift from God and the most sacred thing about you.” Not that this is the only struggle out there, but when this is the struggle, we need to be a place of sanctuary and refuge.
I am blessed, as are other priests, with opportunity after opportunity to enter into dialogue with young people today. Some are in high school, some in college. In each and every case, all they want is to share and be heard and not be judged and not be told they are bad. Many of their parents have the same desire. In the same exhortation, Pope Francis urges us to consider the precious nature of our dialogue with young people. He writes, “Jesus had no use for adults who looked down on the young or lorded it over them. On the contrary, he insisted that, ‘the greatest among you must become like the youngest.’” (Matthew 18:2-5.)
There is rarely a quick fix to any serious situation, never a quick-fix answer to a particularly difficult question. That is not what we’re called to be. We are not asked to be quick-fixers but, rather, patient listeners. And, while this certainly does not mean abandoning scripture or the truths of our faith, it does mean abandoning anything in us what keeps that compassionate listening from happening.